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You came very suddenly.
I’m happy anyway. And we are close again, as before that was ever delayed. To
be honest, I feel comfortable with our talks. You said that you will always
waiting for me. The problem is, I’m still afraid to make my door wide open. Fear
to do wrong. I don’t want to be reckless and make many people blame our
decision.
Funny. And yet you
still have someone in your heart at that time. Though you said your
relationship was on the edge, but come on, she still your love. Do not assume that something real
is not real.
A few days later, that
relationship that was on the edge is really over. You said because you’re tired
of fighting. Well I try to understand.
Your relationship was
over. And after that I know that you want me. You know what? I have really
thought to accept you and trying to face all my fears. But, in the end, I
couldn’t see you as a person that waiting for me. But as a person who was
putting me down as an option that is not the only one.
Eventhough I was ever
truely believe you. But someone like you, I don’t want it. Your treatment, your
attention, your words, it’s not just me who accepts something like that right? There’s
someone else you treat the same. It means you are not serious. Have you ever
serious? And I don’t like things that are not serious.
Where do I know? It
doesn’t matter. The way I get that information is really a magical coincidence.
I know. I do know what you are talking about with someone else besides me. And
everything is almost exactly the same. It makes me feel that I’m never very
special for you.
After I was
indifferent (because my heart has been destroyed silently), now you have a new
relationship. Its oke. I’m not sorry at all. Not disappointed. For sure.
You said “when you
pull the trigger and release it, soon the bullets shot away too. Nothing wrong.
That’s a rifle.”
So you think yourself
as a rifle? Because I never know that you are a rifle. I used to know you were
a gentleman with a rifle. That gentleman, it was not you. You are just the
rifle. And it’s not me who pulls the trigger, babe. It was you who are
releasing your bullet and kill me right in my heart.
